Any day is a good day for a fresh start. Any day is a good day 
to study a little Torah. In terms of the Torah, this is a very special time of
year. It is the holiday of Simchas Torah which is a public reading of the end
and the beginning of the Torah. It done with great joy and dancing and delicious
feasts. It starts the evening of September 26th this year and it is a great time
to try out a new synagogue (no tickets required).

The coming weeks are  the very first portions of the five books of Moses. They are some of the most
poetic and inspiring of portions.  If you have never read the Torah from
the beginning, this is a good time to start Tiptoeing with me. With every week,
you will know that you belong to a virtual community who care about God and
  learning God's Ways through Torah.

Starting fresh with the Torah's public reading cycle is especially good for those who feel a chaos in their
life, or a darkness or a void. This is because the world begins in darkness and
God brings in light. When you learn Torah, you bring light to your soul and give
it a recharge. When you learn Torah, you engage your mind and distract yourself
from negative thinking. When you learn Torah, you have something to talk about
with people who are also interested in Torah, religion and spiritual
matters.

Give Tiptoeing Through The Torah a try this year from the beginning or find a convenient study class on-line or locally.  Tis
the season for fresh starts!

In slang terms, Sedona, Arizona had a vibe.  You could feel the energy winding down the mountain, descending into darkness as a family.   We had only our headlights to point the way.  

Suddenly I felt a little numb and a deep pull down towards the  earth; a heavy gravity. Maybe there was something to those vortexes in Sedona, which claim it is as a space, a place where spiraling energy can be felt more strongly and channeled into prayer, meditation and healing.  
 
The trouble was that it didn’t feel good - just strong.  And the next morning, a  hike among the stark rocks and two cups of coffee couldn’t shake this heaviness pulling me down.

I am trying to sort out this chaos in my head and body with my husband when we get a phone call from our children, who were about 14 and 16.  They had just come out of the Sedona Center for the New Age, and said we HAD to go and they both were grateful to be Jewish. 
 
We couldn't imagine any place that would inspire that kind of call and headed right over. 
When we entered the New Age Center,  mood music played and it was intimate and expansive.  So many things to  look at. So many price tags.  I  cannot deny a powerful energy inside this space.  I  felt it press against me as I walked through the different rooms.  Crystals and charms, carved idols and angel  lined
every nook and cranny.  People stood in line for aura readings and astrology charts, and picked psychics from
brochures.   Salespeople couldn’t explain which carved deity meant what to whom or why. He was content
that people found meaning and comfort and he was there to help.

I went over to the large crystal ball and eyeballed it up close.  I didn’t see Dorothy nor any mystical signs. 
I mostly saw a reflection of myself and began to feel uncomfortable. It  was like suddenly I could feel a regret in my  heels and the need to walk away and ask  God for forgiveness. I may have been a tourist but I hear the echo of the Second Commandment about "have no  other gods in God's Presence." Right then and there I confirmed in my heart and  soul my commitment to God of Abraham, God, Master of the Universe, Creator, God
of Moses, Who hears the people's cries and frees them from bondage. 
 
By the time I get down the hall with a peak in a few other rooms,  my whole body needs to leave. I commit myself on the step out, to writing away my guilt.  It was a cultural  experience not a religious one and nothing quite like contrast to teach  personal truths and beliefs.  
 
We all agreed when meeting up for lunch we had a feeling of peace in worshiping a God  Who has no eyes, no face, no shape or form, without representation of any kind.  We felt trust in our God Who sees us,
knows us, and comforts us.    We felt confidence of knowing who we were as Jews as we watched a spectacular sunset through the big red Sedona rocks. 

Now, we like going to Shabbat services whenever we travel.  So that Friday night,  we entered the white circular spacious sanctuary a sense of home as we  saw the ark and the eternal light. Then the rabbi started playing guitar and the  congregation started singing together Lecha Dodi  to welcome the Sabbath then Shalom Alechem, welcoming the angels.  
  
Let me tell you, singing about angels in Sedona take on a whole new meaning.  Literally as I sang, 
I could feel my spiritual self lifting up and the congregation too.  We sang to God to bestow peace on 
God’s angels, beseeching God's angels to bring with them peace, then seeking God's angels to bless us
with peace now and depart in peace. We felt the harmony, and in that Sedona way, could feel God's angels
in our midst. 

The services and the rabbi, Alicia Magal, had a certain flare, too, with feminine  meditations, a poetic tone and lots of references to our feelings. She chants some of the Torah portion using her beautiful voice and then sings a concise summary of it with the same intonations. Rather than talking, she sings blessings upon people.  
 
At one point the rabbi gathers a group of congregants celebrating anniversaries, birthdays and upcoming travel into a group hug. She asks us to help her bless the group by stretching out our arms toward them while she sang the blessings. We follow her with arms outstretched extending blessings, sending joy, receiving joy, connecting.  

We end the service holding hands in a chain throughout the sanctuary and sing Shabbat Shalom. 
We are among our people.  We are visitors but not strangers, for we share together our love and respect for
God and gratitude for Shabbat.  Shabbat is our vortex, pulling our  spiritual energy higher. God is our constant, eternal source of life and  energy, renewing us each week with this time set aside for holiness. 


 







 [LSS1]

Not everything that happens in our life is good.  But I believe everything that happens in our lives can all be given meaning and used for good. 

I think about the different tragedies in my life and all the struggles along the way and I realize again and again that it is up to me to find the good, to give the meaning, to accept and to move forward.

Finding the good is often the hardest part because that requires a certain kind of trust and belief that God knows what God is doing.  God sees the big picture.  I know my vision is limited. 

Giving meaning to something bad that has happened is a very profound and personal experience.  It emerges over time and rarely can be rushed.  Sometimes we give meanings which are temporary so we can get us from one "space into another".  Sometimes the meanings last forever.  All are healing.

Acceptance is a daily practice and doesn't come without some work because it goes hand in hand with forgiveness.  Practicing compassion is a also good way to cultivate acceptance.  

Moving forward is another word for change and, as well all know, transition is hard. But moving forward is a positive change which is self-rewarding and helps build confidence. Positive action relieves anxiety, shows courage, earns respect and gives personal release.  

Not all that happens in life is good but we can find that sliver of meaning, the tiny spark of hope and the seed for a new stalk of inspiration and bloom.

Sometimes I feel like a walking magnet for Jewish guilt.  People lean towards me with hushed tones as they confess soccer games, piano recitals and theater shows that were done on the  Sabbath.  They feel bad and
suggest they aren’t very good Jews.
 
I am never exactly sure how to respond to this kind of  self-inflicted guilt.  Do I chime in with my own confessions?  Do I  wave my hand in dismissal recognizing that schedules are notorious for being
Shabbat squashers?  Do I lament  living in a non-Jewish world?  Or do I just get philosophical and debate the term “good Jew”?

Look the Sabbath comes once a week.  God went out of God’s way to make it a special day.   If Shabbat is supposed to be rejuvenating, then guilt doesn’t work. It is deflating. It is a “negative  attention” connection with God.    It works on feelings of  shame and regret.  
 
Since guilt goes nowhere, go instead with Shabbat.  Wherever you go; whatever you are doing, take Shabbat with you.”
 
Even if you can’t fully rest, study, pray AND reflect on the Sabbath you can still acknowledge that the weekly holiday exists and see the  world through Shabbes eyes.  
 
Start with the great outdoors.  Look outside at the sky and the earth, the trees and the birds and
recognize them as God’s creations.  Shabbes, after all, is really a reward of rest for God working so hard
those six days of creation. 
 
You may have errands, activities or even work to do but none of those need stop you from reflecting about it being Shabbes, about you being Jewish, about God.  
 
If you don’t have the time to for schul, go ahead and be grateful that there are Jews all around the world in synagogue carrying on our  religious traditions.  They are taking the holy scroll from the ark, parading it around the sanctuary and chanting it aloud.  
 
Wish you had a way to connect with the holy teachings, take a commandment, any commandment and think about it deeply.  That too you know is a form of study. 
 
Prayer also travels well. You can pray on Shabbat whether you are waiting for a show to begin, schlepping, shopping or sitting in schul.  Sure it is easier in temple but sitting on the bleachers is a fine place for thanking God for all your blessings. Use it as a time to appreciate how your child is healthy of enough to play and you are well enough to watch. You can be grateful for the opportunity to be a parent and pray for the courage and insight to be a good  one.  
 
When you bring Shabbat with you, rather than leaving it at home or at the synagogue, you stay connected to God, to the Jewish people and to the Divine Spirit within you.   
 
As for the guilt, you won’t miss it a bit. 


Originally Published in The Texas Jewish Post